Oh My Land

Ok its been too long. I mean way too long.

So here’s what’s going on. I was at lacrosse practice and while playing defense with a shorty (no seriously it was only a foot long and didn’t even have a head) I was nailed in the neck by a hard rubber lacrosse ball that was traveling at about 80 miles per hour. Ouch. So I got off of the field, removed my helmet, loosened my chest pads and took sometime to learn to breathe again. So in other words I sat out for 2 minutes and then went back in and started playing again.

Well I got home and started typing up a paper– due the next day– and I started noticing that the light was hurting my eyes. Next thing I know I am having a hard time focusing on anything. My left side perefral vision is completely wack. Next my head starts hurting like nothing else in the world. WHat to do but tell mom, “Umm… I think I have a concussion.” and expect a response like, “Well, you smell pretty bad so go take a shower and then we’ll head down to the inst care.” woah… love you to mom. 🙂

I was just getting out of the shower when my eyesight went back to normal and my head stopped hurting, benefits of a clean body right? Wrong. We went to the IC only for the nurse to say, “That doesn’t sound very safe to me, I would head to the ER.” Umm… ok. Guess what my head still hurts at this point.

We get in the car and head over 15 minutes away to the ER to find it is really, really busy.  Guess what my head still hurts at this point. What to do but wait? There is the guy in front of me that looks so sick he could explode. There is the obese lady that thinks she has the swine flu, but can barely walk over to tell them that. There is the Soccer Team who is there to wish that their player wasn’t. There are the two guys with the roses. And here I am… stuck sitting in that nicely padded chair, probably getting the swine flu, or being splattered on by the dude that’s going to spontaneously combust. Gross. And guess what! Those three ibuprofen still haven’t kicked in so my head still hurts.

Well I finally get into the nurse’s office and she is really friendly. She knows about lacrosse and is pretty excited to see my sweet bruise. She tells me that there are more lacrosse injuries in the Hospital than football or hockey, which seems to say a lot. So I’m given my wristband and I’m stuck sitting across from spontaneous combustion guy again. Hasn’t he exploded yet? It’s only a matter of minutes.

Time ticks by and my head no longer hurts (thank you ibuprofen) but this guy seriously looks like he might explode and give me AIDs. Next thing you know he is standing up and greeting someone who is coming out of the nurse’s office. All of that build up for an Anti-Climax. What a healthy world we live in.

Next I’m taken to my room. Room 68, I only remember because from my previous high-risk seat it was about a mile to the other end of the ER. Yeah, walking to my room was like… running a marathon. About 30 minutes later a nurse walks in as pleasant as can be and just begins asking me questions. Then she leaves. 10 minutes after that another nurse comes in, takes 4 blood samples, and leaves. Then another with stories (I guess they don’t get the opportunity to be with such an incredibly good looking hilarious guys like me very often) and paperwork. I appreciated that. Then I’m stuffed into this MRI tube where I get an MRI and an MRA which lasted I guess an hour, I guess because I wasn’t awake for the whole thing.

Another hour of waiting in my room and the doctor comes in and is telling me that they think that the interior wall of my coradid artery is broken, and causing turbulence. That was what caused a clot which is what gave me the migraine and eyesight problem. But they needed to be sure how bad it was. So I’m taken to get a CAT scan and it was cold in that room. Like 50 fetching degrees… cold. So they put dye (iodine) in me which burns and makes me numb, but other than that it was  a good experience. I’m freezing and this nice nurse says, “Let me get you a blanket.” So he pulls one out of the oven for me and it was warm and I almost died of happiness right there on the spot. Alas, I was there to stay alive.

So the doctor comes into my room and tells me they were right, but still want to make sure I don’t need extra meds. So I get an ultrasound, which is freezing cold–why is it always cold in these stupid hospitals?– and they say it’s very minor. So they say take Aspirin and go home.

So my nurse tells me,  “Should’ve played basketball.” and I was like, “Basketball? You pansy.” and she says we’ll continue this conversation later. It’s already like 3 in the morning, and at that point I didn’t know if there was going to be a later. So she comes back around 3:30 and says, “Ok you’re free to go, oh and, basketball isn’t a pansy sport.” Then she walked out without giving me a chance to present my argument. Uncool.

Anyways, I made it home by 4 in the AM and slept that day until one. No more lacrosse for fall season, unless the doc on monday says otherwise. Who knows?

Moral of the story, try to avoid the ER. 🙂